Magic Tools for Mums & Dads — Martial Arts Geelong

The Idea

Why These Words Are
So Powerful

These two words are tremendously valuable tools for parents. They are designed to prevent arguments and to resist any pleas or attempts to bargain on the child's part.

The logic is simple: arguing with children is one of the most futile things we can ever do. It might begin as a calm, rational discussion — but once it's clear they're not getting what they want, it becomes a battle of wills. Child versus parent. And here's the thing about that battle: it's no longer about the original issue. It's about winning. It's about ego. And ego doesn't give up.

"The child is not learning the power of a logical argument. What they're actually doing is everything they can think of to get their own way."

By stepping back and refusing to argue the point — responding calmly with one of these two words — you teach the child something far more important: that you mean what you say. Over time they come to understand that when Mum or Dad uses one of these words, the discussion is over.

In Practice

How It Plays Out

Here's an example of what an argument with a six-year-old actually looks like — and why no amount of logic will win it:

The Rock Concert Argument

Mum "No Billy, I'm sorry but you can't go to the rock concert."

Billy "But I want to!"

Mum "Well, you have no way of getting there."

Billy "Maybe I can get Jimmy to drive me — he wants to go too."

Mum "Jimmy is only six years old. You can't go."

Billy "Well, Jimmy can steer and I'll work the pedals!"

There is no way around the logic of a six-year-old. They function from a completely different level. The only result of that argument was to teach the child that it's acceptable to argue with their parents.

The magic words cut it off before it starts. To every point and argument the child brings, you reply calmly and clearly with one or the other — and nothing else.

An Important Point

When They Say "I Hate You"

When a child throws the phrase "I hate you" at their parent, we know they don't actually mean it. What they mean is: they're very cross at being thwarted and have run out of ways to persuade you — so they've reached for the most powerful emotional lever they can find.

In this case, preface the magic words with something important first:

"Well, I love you very much — but nevertheless..."

The child needs to clearly understand that there is nothing they can do or say that will cause their parents to stop loving them. That truth is more important than winning the argument.

From Our School

We Hope This Helps
Your Family

These parenting tips come from the same philosophy that shapes everything we do at Martial Arts Geelong — building strong, confident, well-grounded kids, and supporting the families behind them.

ABOUT YOUR INSTRUCTOR

Rob Baard

Shihan 14th Dan · Japan-licensed Shidoshi

Trained directly under Grandmaster Masaaki Hatsumi — the last living heir to nine ancient Japanese combat traditions.

Licensed Private Investigator. Author of the Training & Tactics series, martial arts philosophy and mind science books, and the Ninja Saga novels. Honorary PhD.

Diplomas in Clinical Hypnotherapy, Psychotherapy, and NLP Master Practitioner.

IBDA Weapons Specialist. Martial Arts Alliance Certified. Kuji-In Master. Usui Reiki Master.

Award-winning filmmaker. Directed Danny Glover in a feature film sold across 30+ countries. Winner — LA Film Awards, Best Documentary. Documentary now a permanent exhibit at the Togakushi Ninja Museum, Japan. Australian Cinema Pioneer.

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Why These Words AreSo Powerful